Posted By Greg on May 17, 2008

“We can’t stop here, this is bat country” – Dr. Thompson

The best laid plans of mice and men will still put an eye out. Attend a wine and food festival, mostly wine and liquor, in a giant, pink resort (yes, giant and pink) and you just might find yourself going into survival mode, too.

Painted, naked lady anyone?

Consume exactly one package of Combos, taste a few whites, then attend a cocktail seminar by master mixologist Francesco Lafranconi – making such drinks as “Sexy Passion” (see below). You can see where things might start to go awry.

The plan was to stick to tasting liquor and whites. I was completely and utterly unprepared for the sheer volume of liquors that were to be tasted. Lest you think me a lush, I’ll take a tag line from Signore Lafranconi “we’re not drinking – we’re learning”. “Learning” included a peanut liqueur from Castries, a dangerously delicious pear martini, made with Boomerang vodka from Australia:

and Effin Vodka - poured from a glacier’s butt.

If all of that, while consuming no real food to speak of, was not enough, we made a hasty retreat to change clothes and get back in time for the Titanium Chef Challenge. The battle was to have been between JAG and Johnny Ciao. Johnny Ciao? Yeah, it’s a household name.

Rumor has it that a tragic accident sidelined Mr. Ciao, relegating him to the role of judge, along side featured guest judge, Lorraine Bracco. When I think of food, I always think of Dr. Melfi, right off the bat.

Anyway, Jason Roberts was a good soul and stood up for the task of replacement contestant, along with Robert Masson, of 717 South. Iron Chef has a secret ingredient, and so did Titanium Chef – chocolate. What Iron Chef doesn’t have is a suggested feature ingredient – Mahi Mahi.

There were some great flavors; a mango-white chocolate vinaigrette that graced a nicely seared duck breast, and some good concepts gone south; a duo of white and dark chocolate risottos.

Ultimately, the all-star panel of judges selected Chef Roberts as the winner. And how exactly does the winner of this particular challenge get rewarded? Yup, you guessed it – bagpipes. (thankfully, no photo available of that)

Better fueled today, with a small breakfast of a corned beef hash omelette, covered in hollandaise, biscuits and gravy, and a croissant (gotta stay classy), it’s soon off to the grand tasting. And maybe the bubble bash…..

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